Major Major's 'Advertures With Common Folk'

So just now I was walking down 81st avenue and this guy calls out to me from his door. He asked me a question...and this is indeed one for pondering.

"It's beef you cook with rat poison, right?"

I thought he was joking, but he wasn't.

What can you say?

"yeah..it's beef"

"yeah, cos I don't think it's chicken," he says

I want to fight you

I have never known the joy of human cartilage cracking under my fist.
someone elses blood staining my shirt.

I have never known the satisfaction of uninhibited retaliation

DAMN IT ALL I WANT TO FIGHT YOU IN THE FACE!

next person who looks at me the wrong way is getting a KNUCKLE SANDWICH.
I mean....if you even look at me at all...you will receive a jawbreaker...and not the candy kind...and you won't have to sign for it. I'll just haul off and let the fists of judgement rain down on the top of your head.

That's my move.
most people go for the face...
but I will PUMMEL you right on the top of the head, repeatedly

And then I will take a walk by myself, down to the river.
And I'll get to thinking.
I'M A MONSTER!!!
WHAT HAVE I BECOME!!!!???!!

I'll jump in the river and swim.
I won't know where I'm going...to the sea, eventually.
I just know I have escape...........*hushedwhisper*............from myself